Leaving the past behind.

Next week marks the dawning of a new age for me. Next week I start a new job at Whole Foods, Inc.

My journey really didn't begin until after I graduated from my Bachelor's in Art/Art History in 2007 and segwayed into finishing a Masters' in Library and Information Science in 2010. When I graduated, I somehow knew I wasn't going to fit into the normal mold of becoming a librarian at a public library. I knew I was creative and I knew I liked to having an open dialogue about art/nature/well-being with people. I just didn't know how to incorporate those ideas into my everyday live. But I knew I needed a full-time job. Stat. I had a loan to pay off and medical needs to attend to on a monthly basis. So, I took a job working for THE MAN as an administrative office clerk.  Specifically, I worked for an insurance company.

Working for an insurance company was just the type of career path everyone wanted me to take. It had great benefits, great PTO, and I rarely had to work overtime. But I was stuck working on a computer for 8 hours a day and was looked at if I wanted to get up to go to the bathroom because we had more work than people to do it. To make matters worse,  I would do the same task within a two second time frame for hours. No one knew exactly what I did either. Forget about an open dialogue...there was no dialogue. This job did not suit me at all. What I needed was to be able to talk to people about my ideas and I needed to produce something creative.

When I told people about my new job, some have looked at me strangley and asked, "...But...don't you have a MASTERS? Are you going to be using this degree at a grocery store?" Well, in a round-about way, yes.  I believe in using awareness and transparency of the products you use in your everyday should be discussed!  I want to have an open dialogue about creating a better sense of well-being for everyone. Freedom of information is one of the most powerful tools that everyone, in some way or other, posesses. And I want to be a part of that. How's that for a job? How's that for freedom?

This position is a part-time, which interested me greatly. I have a few other business endeavors that peak my fancy...perhaps harvesting and selling my uncle's honey for profit...perhaps drawing botanical illustrations to sell online. I have decided to branch out how I make a living, based on my interests and passions. This new job offers me room to wonder, which I like. Who knows, I may one day take a full-time position becoming a buyer for Whole Foods.

So in the end, I'm glad I listened to what I wanted out of my life. No one guided me in this direction. I had to search it out and take it. As Shakespeare said, "See first that the design is wise and just; that ascertained, pursue it resolutely.” 

You/Me/You/Me/You

I read a lot of different material at once. Some people can't pick up another book without finishing the one infront of them; not me. Right now, I am looking up poems/quotes to inspire me into this new transition I am experiencing. This one poem by John Ashbury, entitled, "A Blessing in Disguise" caught my eye and I would like to show it to my audience.



Yes, they are alive and can have those colours,
But I, in my soul, am alive too.
I feel I must sing and dance, to tell
Of this in a way, that knowing you may be drawn to me.

And I sing amid dispair and isolation
Of the chance to know you, to sing of me
Which are you. You see,
You hold me up to the light in a way

I should never have expected, or suspected, perhaps
Because you always tell me I am you,
And right. The great spruces loom.
I am yours to die with, to desire.

I cannot ever think of me, I desire you
For a room in which the chairs ever
Have their backs turned to the light
Inflicted on the stone and paths, the real trees

That seem to shine at me through a lattice towards you.
If the wild light of this January day is true
I pledge me to be truthful unto you
Whome I cannot ever stop remembering.

Remembering to forgive. Remember to pass beyond you into the day
On the wings of the secret you will never know.
Taking me from myself, in the path
Which the pastel girth of the day has assigned for me.

I prefer "you" in the plural, I want "you,"
You must come to me, all golden and pale
Like the dew and the air.
And then I start getting this feeling of exaltation.

-John Ashbury . United States . B.1927



*Everything outside of me, inside of me, is also apart of you.*

Look up "Inspiration" in a thesaurus and start from there.

~ Lately, I've felt the need to start a blog. I wanted to start a blog about so many things: new recipes, artwork that I love, books, articles, and quotes I've read. I write in a journal, sometimes daily, sometimes not for months at a time. Mostly, I write because I'm distraught or need to work something out in my head. But I've decided I could incorporate all of those things into one central theme: What inspires ME. What is it that gives me those "AHA!" moments? Something, (no doubt that has probably always been there comes leaping in my direction), just for me to discover, something to call my own, and give me insight. I suppose I want to make those moments more my own by putting them out there in a public forum.

Right now, I am reading a really great book on the subject of "The House of Belonging". In my current situation, I have no job, I'm living at my parents' house, and my love-life seems to always be in a state of limbo. Everyone needs a place to belong.. and right now, I am trying to find what means for me. This state of transition can be more fruitful if I share it with someone.

 I'm always looking for a new perspective and I have probably read more self-help books than I would like to admit. People who've made writing their artform, to make sense of their experiences on earth, I always hope will shed light on my own experiences. The past few days, I've started reading a book, Moving On, by Sarah Ban Breathnach. A writer known for letting all of her "aha" moments as well as her not so graceful moments, very public. "Writing these moments down transforms gratitude from a spiritual sensibility to a personal knowledge, experience you can really trust,"  she writes. She encourages her readers to do exactly what has made her seem like the friend we never had, what has made her famous. She asks us to write. One can't truely be grateful until one experiences these moments... writing them down actualizes them on another level. Moments are not marked by minutes, hours, days, months, or years...rather they are marked by everything that is fleeting in between. She lets her readers know what "The House of Belonging" means for her, by going through every house she has ever lived in and sharing her moments of belonging, (or not,) in each one of them.

 Why not research and share what makes me feel like I belong? And then why not use that to begin leading a more fulfilling life?